


Ham Squah: "Making Original Titles With 'Squah' in the Name Is Hard"

by gamegrumpsfanimated



Series: Ham Squah [21]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: GUESS WHOS BACK, Multi, Other, text fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-30 02:13:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11453832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gamegrumpsfanimated/pseuds/gamegrumpsfanimated
Summary: angel: theo im gonna need you for a human sacrificeteadosia: you're gonna need me for a what





	Ham Squah: "Making Original Titles With 'Squah' in the Name Is Hard"

**Author's Note:**

> hi yes I'm back for the time being. hi! hope you've had a good day, etc, etc.
> 
> Also, yes, Philip is in this fic, but he's not anyone's son. Think of him like Alex's annoying little brother? Idk. It sounded better in my head lol.

angel: is it just me or do babys bones break too easily  
  
hamfam: ANGELICA WHAT THE FUCK  
  
jawnlawn: hypothetically yes but  
  
jawnlawn: why the fuck are you asking??? WHAT DID YOU D O  
  
angel: I didn't do anything!!!!!  
  
angel: i was..... Just Asking....  
  
thomason: dw you guys angel usually asks me shit like this  
  
thomason: you just gotta learn to tune it out  
  
thomason: and never encourage her ever  
  
sirburr: explain  
  
thomason: she'll text me like  
  
thomason: "is it illegal to drop a dozen cats off a bridge into a vat of acid"  
  
thomason: (true quote by the way)  
  
thomason: then ill say something like "yes angie it's illegal don't fucking do it"  
  
thomason: and if she keeps asking ill just go to her dorm and beat her at monopoly and usually she forgets about it  
  
elizard: wow that is,,, a really efficient way of handling angie  
  
mulligone: what about when she's drunk tho?? i doubt she'd focus on a monopoly game like that  
  
thomason: then I beat her at Uno  
  
thomason: she'd be too busy crying to worry about whatever fucked up thing she said  
  
angel: OK wow what the fuck im right here you bitches  
  
angel: i thought yoy guys weree mybasfruENDS  
  
jawnlawn: Angelica are you drunk right now  
  
thomason: yes she is  
  
marialews: why didn't you tell us  
  
thomason: cause she'd be talkin stuipid whether she was sober or not  
  
pegleg: >:(  
  
thomason: dooooont worry me and james are taking care of her  
  
hamfam: that's not reassuring  
  
thomason: shut up im her best friend  
  
madisin: and I'm here for moral support  
  
hamfam: UM I WAS ANGELS BEST FRIEND FIRST???  
  
thomason: wrong  
  
thomason: ive known her since the end of middle school  
  
hamfam: IVE KNOWN HER SINCE BEFORE THEN  
  
hamfam: IF YOU AND YOUR DUMB BOYFRIEND DONT GET YOUR GREASY HANDS OFF MY BEST FRIEND  
  
elizard: first of all. you're both wrong  
  
elizard: Peggy and I were angels first and best friends  
  
mulligone: but you guys are sisters that doesn't count???  
  
pegleg: shut up herc the berc  
  
mulligone: ok  
  
laffytaffy: do naught talk to my cabbage like that  
  
hamfam: listen man idk how it works in france but you should stop using cabbage as a term of endearment  
  
laffytaffy: you cannot stop me  
  
thomason: Alex stfu  
  
thomason: don't tell my OTHER BESTIE what to do  
  
hamfam: FUCK YOU HE WAS MY BESTIE FIRST  
  
thomason: what u gonna do about it??? strangle me???  
  
thomason: go head then babygirl. my doors unlocked. bring a stepstool.  
  
hamfam: you know what?? you've sunken low enough for me to reach  
  
jawnlawn: this is getting out of hand  
  
madisin: ill say  
  
hamfam: JOHN HELP  
  
thomason: MADS HES BULLYING ME  
  
madisin: uh  
  
jawnlawn: no  
  
seaberry: what kind of soap opera is this chat  
  
marialews: a tasteless one  
  
elizard: I think it's interesting!!!  
  
royaltea: so do I! these idiots probably have an IQ of 20 put together  
  
thomason: -_-  
  
hamfam: WE'RE RIGHT FUCKING HERE  
  
hamfam: don't make me dump your ass into the ocean  
  
laffytaffy: a repeat involving the tea incident would be very unfortunate  
  
royaltea: FUCK YOU I PAID A LOT OF GOOD MONEY FOR ALL THAT ARIZONA TEA  
  
washingdone: who fucking cares  
  
angel: I Have Been Touched By God, The Most Holy. I Have Heard The Chorus Of Ten Million Angels, All Celebrating This Noble And Amazing Moment. God Is Real. And I Have Seen Him. He Was Crying With Utter Joy. This Is A Blessed Day....  
  
angel: ...cause gwash finally said fuck!!!!  
  
marialews: holy shit  
  
jawnlawn: didn't think the old man had it in him! :0  
  
washingdone: listen......  
  
pegleg: eliza invite everyone into our sacred chat to celebrate  
  
hamfam: ...everyone????  
  
laffytaffy: yes!!!!!  
  
 _elizard invited teadosia to the chat.  
  
elizard added septhuitnut to the chat.  
  
elizard added whoresneaker to the chat._  
  
whoresneaker: ok  
  
whoresneaker: who fuckinh blocked me  
  
hamfam: I did  
  
whoresneaker: I'll strangle you  
  
septhuitnut: creative :/  
  
teadosia: why are we here  
  
angel: gwash said fuck. we celebrate  
  
septhuitnut: holy fuck  
  
elizard: watch your mouth  
  
teadosia: anyways,,,  
  
teadosia: hi Burr! :)  
  
sirburr: oh shit hELLO  
  
angel: awwwwhhhh  
  
pegleg: now he can finally stop being such a stuckup ass  
  
teadosia: ill doubt he'll change that much. sorry guys :P  
  
pegleg: oh my god Theo is pure  
  
pegleg: she used :P  
  
mulligone: a shame such a pure person has to be in this shitty sin chat  
  
angel: nah I'd say theo is more of a nabalungi pure. she says fuck and stuff but she still uses :P and :D  
  
jawnlawn: a good way to explain it  
  
sirburr: can you all not talk so casually of her  
  
hamfam: she's our friend too, Burr  
  
sirburr: -_-  
  
thomason: stop that that's MINE  
  
sirburr: what  
  
thomason: -_- this. It's Mine.  
  
madisin: you can't trademark emoticons  
  
thomason: madison, you hot piece of ass, fucking watch me -_-™  
  
angel: unrelated but i have a birthmark on my shoulder  
  
angel: and it looks like a half moon  
  
angel: does this mean I'm ofelia from pans labyrinth  
  
pegleg: yes  
  
hamfam: now you just have to feed a giant toad three magic stones, survive an attack from the abomination with eyes on it's hands, and take blood from an innocent  
  
angel: an innocent huh?? I'll just use Theo  
  
teadosia: wait what the fuck  
  
angel: im just jokin girl ilu<3  
  
angel: ill use my neighbors child instead  
  
thomason: id say don't do it but,,,, ive met ur neighbor. she's annoying  
  
marialews: unimportant but i love the show Doug  
  
angel: idk man the guy was just boring as fuck with cool friends,,,,,, he reminded me too much of me  
  
elizard: i thought Doug was funny!  
  
pegleg: but you know what's BETTER?  
  
pegleg: proud family  
  
hamfam: fffUCK YEEESSSS  
  
thomason: penny proud was my BITCH y'all  
  
mulligone: oh yeah we gotta add proud fam to our classics list  
  
laffytaffy: and josh and drake  
  
pegleg: laf what the fuck??? do you do this with the intent to infuriate me???  
  
pegleg: ITS DRAKE AND JOSH  
  
angel: me and thom are drake and josh  
  
thomason: im drake  
  
madisin: have you guys ever considered the fact that jon jafari looks like josh peck  
  
angel: all the time  
  
hamfam: jons old high school pics,,, he looks EXACTLY like josh  
  
pegleg: now I'm uncomfortable  
  
elizard: we all are

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it. I really do love making this series for y'all.
> 
> Got title suggestions? I'd love to hear em.


End file.
